Learning About Social Connections in Teens

What are social connections?

Social connections are the relationships you have with other people. These connections may be close, like with family, friends, and coworkers. Or they may be more distant, like with people you know casually. They can be as near as next door. Or they're so far away that you only connect with them by phone or online. Whether your circle is big or small, the important thing is that you are there for each other.

Some social connections may seem cool or inviting, but they may not share your values. For example, they may urge you to try drugs or alcohol when you're not interested. Or maybe they don't support you in ways that you need. It's okay to find another group or set of friends who are positive and supportive.

Why are they important?

Positive social connections can help make a difference to your life. When you give and receive support within your social connections, your life may feel more meaningful and purposeful.

They can also:

• Help you bounce back from tough situations or problems. This is called resilience.
• Increase happiness.
• Help you feel good about yourself.
• Help you know that when things aren't going well, you can depend on the strength of your social connections.

How do you make positive social connections?

Here are a few ideas to help you make positive social connections.

• Join a social group, club, or sports team at school, or join a faith community that shares your views.
• Connect with people who support and accept you as you are.

  Friends are interested in each other's lives.

• Look for volunteer groups.

  For example, you could call your local food bank or hospital and ask about their volunteer programs.

• "Friend" people on social media who share your hobbies and interests.

  But remember that positive social connections lift you up. They shouldn't drag you down.

• Know that social support is a two-way street.

  Giving support is just as valuable as getting support. For example, you can:

  • Put the phone down, be present, and listen. Start by asking others about their families, jobs, and interests.
  • Send an encouraging note, text, or email to a friend who is going through a rough time.
  • Invite a friend who makes you laugh to a funny play, movie, or comedy show.

How can you leave a social connection that's not right for you?

Social connections can change. Maybe what started out as a group of friends having fun together has shifted into things you're not comfortable doing. Or maybe they no longer support you or your values. Trust your feelings. It's okay to leave a group that's not right for you.

Here are some ideas that can help.

• Make a plan to create more positive connections.
  • Look for other groups that do things that interest you.
  • Find other things to do. For example, you could volunteer at an animal shelter. Or maybe it's time to look for an after-school part-time job.
• Know what to say when someone tries to pressure you into staying.

  Talk about your own feelings to explain why you're pulling away. For instance, you could try saying something like: "I feel uncomfortable when you take things that don't belong to you."

• Stay connected to the friends and family members who are positive and supportive.

  Call a friend—someone you haven't hung out with in a while—and spend time together again. Enjoy each other's company.

• Stay true to you.

  You don't have to share details about why you've left a group. Allow people to make their own choices without having to choose sides. It may take a little time and effort, but you'll find friends who care about you—friends you like and care about too.