Learning About How to Teach Your Teen Self-Discipline

What are some tips?

While your teen tries to gain independence, they still rely on the limits you've set through discipline. Give your teen enough freedom to make their own choices and mistakes as they discover who they are. Here are some ideas you might try.

• Use the good times to build trust.

  When things are going well, let your child know how you care, how you trust them, and how you understand what it's like to be a teen. This lets them know that they can come to you when things aren't going their way. Find time to talk with and listen to your teen when there are few distractions. For example, talk to each other on a long car ride during a vacation.

• Guide them, but let them decide.

  No matter how much you'd like to tell your teen what to do, it may be better to let them work through things on their own. That's how they gain the tools to make life's tough decisions. For example, maybe they are trying to decide whether to hang out with a new group of friends or what class to take at school. Offer support by asking questions and listening.

• Set clear rules, and stay consistent.

  Rules teach your teen self-discipline. And make sure you're consistent. If you have a rule that says homework must be done before your teen can play games each night, you'll need to stay firm. And no matter how much your teen tries to talk you out of that rule, remember that you're the parent. You can do this.

• Expect your teen to break some rules.

  Encourage your teen to talk about what happened. Sometimes breaking a rule teaches a teen why it was there in the first place. It can help your teen learn to trust you and avoid hiding bad behavior.