Social media can be a fun way to connect with friends and loved ones. But if you’ve ever scrolled through your feed and felt lonely, down on yourself, or unhappy, you’re not alone.
Does social media make loneliness worse?
People often turn to social media when they’re feeling lonely, hoping to connect with others. But research shows that for many, social media can make loneliness worse1 — and the more often you check social media, the more likely you are to feel lonely.2 This may matter even more for young people. Some teens say social media hurts their sleep, confidence, or mental health.3
Of course, this doesn’t mean technology always makes us lonelier. The link between social media and loneliness often depends on how and why you use it.
How does social media cause loneliness?
Social media can cause loneliness when it leads you to compare your own life with someone else’s highlights. This is called social comparison. The more you do it while using social media, the less happy you may feel.
“Social comparison often happens when you feel like you’re not experiencing the lives others are portraying in their posts,” says Michael Torres, PsyD, a clinical psychologist at the Kaiser Permanente Oakland Medical Center. “For example, you look at other people’s posts and think: ‘I should be doing that. I should be living that life. I should be that happy. I should have that body. I should have that kind of family. I should have that many friends.’ We’re all prone to comparing ourselves to others. But social media can heighten this tendency.”
Social comparison can affect how you see yourself. This is especially true when others show only their best moments. “When you compare yourself to others, it can lead to self-judgment, low self-esteem, and a negative sense of self,” Dr. Torres explains.
If using social media makes you compare yourself to others too much, or replaces in-person social connection, it may also leave you feeling more isolated.
How isolation can affect mental health
Feeling isolated can affect your mood and stress level. It can also make it harder to feel supported. Over time, loneliness and lack of social connection can affect your health. Research shows that lonely adults may have a higher risk of depression over time.4
If social media leaves you feeling more alone, pause and try a more direct way to connect. You can also learn ways to deal with loneliness.
8 ways to scroll with less comparison and more connection
You don’t have to quit social media to feel better about using it. Dr. Torres shares 8 tips to help you avoid feeling lonely and build a healthier relationship with your feed.
Actively comment and reply to others
The more you scroll without engaging, the easier it is to compare yourself to what you see. That can leave you feeling lonelier or worse about yourself.5 So forget the mindless scrolling and passive “likes.” Make social media, well, social. Comment and reply with kind messages. You may feel more connected when you make it a 2-way conversation.
Spend less time on social media
“The fact is, the more time you spend on social media, the more accustomed you get to self-comparison and the negative mindset that comes along with it,” says Dr. Torres.
Try cutting back to one hour a day. The goal is to give yourself time away to rest and feel better.
If social media makes you feel sad or lonely, Dr. Torres suggests taking a 1- to 2-week break. Then notice how you feel afterward. “Chances are you’ll feel better,” he says. If scrolling brings up harsh self-talk, learn ways to be less hard on yourself.
Start using the unfollow button
If you often feel jealous, angry, sad, or down on yourself after seeing someone else’s posts, it may be time to remove them from your feed. “Stop following people, organizations, and causes that make you feel bad,” says Dr. Torres. “This is an essential boundary to establish for yourself.”
“Just like you would stop spending time with a toxic friend in real life,” says Dr. Torres, “you should also stop spending time with a toxic social media friend.”
Your mental health matters more than following someone online. Even if they’re a friend or family member in real life, you can unfollow them. You don’t have to bring those negative feelings into your daily life. It’s OK to set boundaries.
Follow organizations that inspire you
One way to avoid comparing yourself to others is by having fewer people in your feed. “Don’t follow so many people on social media,” says Dr. Torres. Instead, follow organizations that are doing good in the world and that inspire you. This could include groups that share healthy or hopeful messages.
“If you choose to follow people, make sure they’re inspirational, healthy, or make you feel good,” he says.
Go positive with your posts
“Posting positive things that matter to you or that inspire you can feel life-affirming and help you have a more constructive experience on social media,” says Dr. Torres. “I especially like to encourage teens and young adults to commit to going positive on social media,” he says.
The point isn’t to post a perfect version of your life to make others jealous. It’s more about creating a positive space for you and others. Share things you’re learning or working on.
Turn off push notifications
App notifications can interrupt your day and pull you back into social media. Take control of your account and check it only when you want to. “Turning off notifications is a healthy boundary,” says Dr. Torres. This can be especially helpful if social media has been making you feel lonely, anxious, or sad.
Once a month, do a quick check of the apps on your phone. Ask yourself: “How do I feel after using this app?” If an app often leaves you sad, anxious, or left out, mute it or take a break.
Make bedtime a social media–free zone
“Stay off social media at night, especially before bedtime,” says Dr. Torres. “That quick scroll before can leave you with anxious thoughts and negative feelings that can keep you up at night.”
These thoughts can make it harder to fall and stay asleep. Try charging your phone out of arm’s reach or doing a short meditation before going to bed.
Connect in person
Spend time with people in real life. You might meet a friend for a walk, join a class, or try a stress-relieving hobby that helps you connect with others.
“Social media can be an excellent way to feel connected,” says Dr. Torres. “But let’s not make it the only way to feel connected. Nothing is better than an actual in-person engagement with a friend.”
If reaching out feels hard, start small. Look for low-pressure ways to make new friends as an adult. When you’re face to face, you can notice body language and tone more clearly. That can lead to more empathy and less comparison.
Explore mental health and wellness resources
How social media affects you often depends on how you use it. Small changes can help you break the comparison cycle and make more room for real connection. If social media and social comparison leave you feeling down, try positive self-talk to shift your thoughts. And help is available. Explore self-care tools to support your mental health.6