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Addiction recovery began with one phone call
After a lifetime marked by trauma, addiction, and homelessness, Cathy begins a new chapter with mental health care that supports her healing.
For most of her life, Cathy carried pain that few people could see.
She grew up in Southern California, in a home shaped by fear and abuse. As a child, she learned to stay quiet and protect others, even while she was hurting inside.
“I lived in fight-or-flight mode for most of my life,” she said. “I didn’t even know what that was back then. I just knew I was scared all the time.”
In her early teens, she started drinking alcohol and using speed, or amphetamine. By her late teens, she was using meth and cocaine.
However, when she became pregnant at age 19, she stopped using drugs and alcohol completely.
Cathy tried to build a good life. She got married, raised children, and for decades, she stayed away from drugs.
But when her husband of nearly 30 years died, the grief opened old wounds she thought had healed.
A breaking point — and a lifeline
Over the next several years, Cathy started using alcohol and drugs again. That, paired with undiagnosed mental health conditions, led to periods of homelessness.
She left California and moved to Alabama to escape her loneliness. Unfortunately, she didn’t find the community and support she was looking for.
“I had bad dreams. I had anxiety and panic attacks,” she said. “Sometimes they were so bad, I’d pass out.”
She started using meth and cocaine. And she began living on the streets, selling drugs to survive.
After 5 years, she returned to California and lived with her sister for a while. But she ended up homeless again.
Then, during a psychotic episode, she broke the window of a dentist’s office.
“I thought my daughter and grandkids had been taken by bad men and were going to be put up for sale,” she said. “I said, ‘I don’t want to hurt anybody. I'm just here to get my family.’”
Fortunately, no one was hurt. She was sent to jail in Sacramento and then transferred to a mental health hospital.
After she was released, Cathy realized she couldn’t survive on her own anymore.
“I felt completely alone. I didn’t trust anyone,” she said. “And I didn’t think I was worthy of help.”
She decided to call Kaiser Permanente for treatment. That call changed everything.
Finding safety and support
A therapist listened to her story without judgment and suggested she try group therapy for addiction medicine.
There is light after the darkness. I’m living proof. Cathy Z
The idea scared her, but she agreed to try.
At her first few sessions, Cathy barely spoke. She felt ashamed and fearful.
After one of her sessions, she walked out, ready to leave and use drugs again. Then something unexpected happened. A therapist followed her into the hallway.
“She took my hand and told me, ‘You’re not alone. If you give this a chance, it will get harder before it gets better. But I’m here for you,’” Cathy said. “That moment was the beginning of my recovery. It changed my life.”
Cathy continued group therapy. She also started DBT (dialectical behavior therapy), a type of counseling that focuses on changing certain thoughts and behavior patterns. In her sessions, Cathy began learning coping skills.
“DBT teaches you how to deal with your emotions as you’re feeling them instead of using substances to numb them,” said Cathy’s therapist Stephanie George-Mello.
Consistent, coordinated mental health care
Cathy had participated in counseling before. At Kaiser Permanente, it felt different.
She had a team of professionals working together to treat her addiction and mental health conditions. They gave her medication to support the work she was doing in therapy.
“It was clear everyone really cared about me,” she said. “They made me feel like I belonged.”
Today, Cathy is in recovery and has rebuilt her relationships with her adult children.
“I wake up grateful every day,” she said. “I've learned to advocate for myself, to stay mindful in all aspects of my new life, to speak without shame about my past.”
She’s entering a training program to learn how to support other people experiencing addiction.
“My mom was my rock, and I wouldn’t have made it without her,” Cathy said. “In my therapy sessions, I finally realized that her work for the City of Sacramento helping crime victims was her way of trying to help people caught in cycles of trauma. And that’s exactly what I want to do, too.”
Her journey hasn’t been easy. But she says it shows that healing is possible, even after decades of pain.
“There is light after the darkness,” Cathy said. “I’m living proof.”
Learn more about mental health and addiction care at Kaiser Permanente.
How to get the help you need
If you or someone you know is experiencing emotional distress, get help right away. Kaiser Permanente members can get connected to mental health and addiction care at kp.org/mentalhealth.
Signs to look out for
Learn about the warning signs of suicide.
Suicide hotline
If you’re experiencing a mental health crisis, call or text 988. You’ll be connected to a trained crisis counselor. You can also call or text 988 if you’re worried about a loved one.
Support is available 24/7. It’s free and confidential.
Mental health emergency
If you believe you have a medical or psychiatric emergency, call 911 or go to the nearest hospital.
For more information, including the definitions related to emergency services, please refer to your Evidence of Coverage or other coverage documents.