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Help for family caregivers when a parent has dementia
Erin Gallagher helps manage her mother's care from a distance. She shares the tools and support that make it easier.
Erin Gallagher’s mother, Holly, has always been active and full of life.
Holly (whose family has asked that only her first name is used) had a long career in commercial real estate. In her free time, she loved social dancing and family events.
Even though she lived 2 hours away from them, she often helped with her grandchildren. She loved cheering them on at their sports competitions and school events.
“She was always a big part of our family’s life,” Gallagher said. “She spent a lot of time helping with the kids.”
Over time, Gallagher and her brothers noticed subtle changes in their mother. She repeated stories and seemed to have more trouble remembering things.
They worried her memory issues were affecting her daily life, so they encouraged her to see her doctor.
After an evaluation by her Kaiser Permanente care team, Holly was diagnosed with dementia.
What is dementia?
Dementia is a loss of thinking skills. It can affect memory, judgment, and social skills in ways that interfere with daily life.
Memory loss is often the first sign people notice. But memory loss by itself doesn’t mean a person has dementia.
Symptoms usually get worse over time, but the speed of those changes is different for everyone.
Some people in the early stages of dementia may still act like they always did. As dementia progresses, it may become clearer that they need help.
The challenges of managing dementia care
Gallagher was already busy as the co-founder and president of a suicide prevention nonprofit. After her mother’s diagnosis, Gallagher took on a new role: caregiver.
Now, with support from her brothers, Gallagher keeps track of her mother’s appointments, medication, and daily needs.
“We’re always reminding her: Take your medication, eat your meals, make sure there’s food in the fridge,” Gallagher said.
Even small health concerns can be hard to handle.
When her mother said she had a weepy eye, for example, Gallagher thought it might be a stye. If Gallagher had been there, she could have taken a photo and sent it to the care team. But Holly couldn’t figure out how to do it by herself.
That’s one challenge of dementia. Tasks that once seemed simple can become difficult.
A small problem can lead to more calls, planning, and worry.
How Kaiser Permanente helps caregivers manage care
Gallagher says Kaiser Permanente makes caregiving easier.
Holly lives near a Kaiser Permanente medical office in Reston, Virginia. There, she can see her doctors, get lab work, and refill prescriptions.
Gallagher enjoys a moment with her cat, Bruno.
“It’s wonderful to have everything in one place so we don’t have to trek all over town,” Gallagher said.
Online tools help, too.
With Holly’s permission, Gallagher helps manage her care online. She can message her mother’s doctors, ask questions, and see replies from the care team.
Holly’s care information is all connected in Kaiser Permanente’s electronic health record system. Everything is available in one place: medical records, messages, test results, prescriptions, and appointments.
That means Gallagher doesn’t have to track down information from different offices.
“I don’t have to spend time chasing paperwork,” she said. “And I’m confident that members of my mother’s care team have all the information they need.”
Tools and resources for family caregivers
Caregiving can be rewarding, and it can also be challenging.
Some days are harder than others. But Gallagher says help from her family, along with caregiver resources, has made a difference.
“It’s important to keep a sense of humor,” she said, “and to find ways to take care of yourself along the way.”
The experience has also made Gallagher think more about her own future. She’s focused on staying healthy, staying active, and maintaining strong connections with family and friends.
“Caregivers need care, too,” said Don Mordecai, MD, Kaiser Permanente’s national leader for mental health. “When we support caregivers, we help them stay well while they care for the people they love.”
Learn more about Kaiser Permanente’s caregiving resources, including:
- Tools for managing someone else’s health online
- Wellness support
- Self-care tips to avoid burnout
- Digital apps to help navigate life’s challenges